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Showing posts from September, 2010

Thursday

Happy Thursday. So, I've worked 4 days in a row for the first time since before Labor Day! (okay, so that's really only two weeks of working 2 days each). I did it! And I expect to work tomorrow, which will put me back to working normally (though I'm more tired than normal). Actually, I worked late some of these 4 days, so that's even more minutes for my time sheet. Now I should tackle eating and being sociable for a little, and then I can rest until tomorrow. Pets can be antidepressants, but even they have side effects. Possibly I am allergic to my guinnea pig. Possibly he'll die. Am I feeding him well enough? Am I giving him enough fresh water? (He's not reliably drinking from the water bottle yet.) Did I waste my money on him? Should I have not spent that much money getting set up to care for him? Etc. But I still like him and am glad I got him. I guess I'd say he's a good antidepressant and he is an exposure (or multiple exposures) for OCD.
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Stress w/ work. Well ANYONE would be stressed by that. Stress w/another area of my life. Yes, I have a wonderful, amazing, and irritating brain. Stress relief with Friedrik the guinnea pig. He's eating again, which is a relief. But still scared. And in my normal tradition, I rename him with nick-names. Goofy is one of my standard nicknames. Piggywiggy is more specific to guinnea pigs. Stress relief with my doll house. It's looking better! Tomorrow I go back to work and then see my counselor. Today I am hungry, but it's 2 o'clock and I only at snacks, not yet lunch. So I guess that's fine.

Friedrik

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Got a guinnea pig and two days off work. The doctor said I shouldn't be too hard on myself for being tired after coming out of the hospital. Friedrik/fredrick/freddy/fred, but spelled Friedrik. :) He's about 3 months old, and my landlord gave me permission to have a guinnea pig, so I got one within a few hours from hearing that.
Uh, yeah. So.... Oh, the present. It's easier to talk about sometimes. I seem to have drank borderline spoiling milk today and/or food with too much spice. At work. Because I seem to have a VERY picky stomach for milk (I like it, but it can still be reasonably good and leave me feeling sick). My solution to this problem is to not eat for several hours. This seems the shortest road to recovery, though it is a bit of a pain when I already was falling on the eating too little side. But the past is fascinating. Especially mixed with the present. Like the fact that I have 43 unread messages for my main e-mail address (I glanced over the titles/senders and it just didn't seem worth the effort for the moment). My good time last Saturday that I posted (a week and a half ago) didn't last long. At all. Like, 5 or 7 hours. Then I returned to being exceedingly depressed etc. The OCD liked to say, "you're gonna die" about things like eating the fruity gummy snacks that I l

and the roller coaster goes... up for the moment!

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Okay, so I didn't convince myself to actually give up on my sleeping-as-late-as-I-can plan until I had slept in AND had come up with an idea for how to do the roofing on my dollhouse (read "intentional hobby to help the depression"). Then I ate -would you believe it, contrary to my anxiety at the grocery store a few weeks ago at the mere thought of eating something besides raisin bran for breakfast, that today I finished my raisin bran (as in, the bag is empty now) and ate a different kind of cereal for the main substance of my breakfast! And it tasted good - well, good enough. I won't die, contrary to OCD's suggestion. Well, then again, who knows what dangers I am yet to encounter today! We shouldn't be too presumptuous. And the spell-checker said I spelled that right. It wasn't okay with "OCD's". Suggestion was fine, so it seems that the spell checker doesn't like OCD, which is silly since OCD probably gives it more business. Now if I