Brain, you're being mean to me. I'm gonna tell my psychiatrist on you!

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Yes, I drove to the library because I wanted to write on my blog. Nobody reads my journal and it is less lonely to write on my blog. Church. I grew up in church. I'm the daughter of a former church leader. I know how to go to Sunday school and the morning service. I know how to find verses with a concordance. And so on and so forth. So then I sit this morning listening, and I heard how people need God and try to meet that need other ways and end up in trouble. And I sat there knowing that I did have this relationship with God and still I was in trouble. I'm not saying I don't want this relationship. It's very important and I'm very excited for heaven. I just want help even though I already have this relationship with God. So then I feel like a selfish person wanting to hog people's attention (in church instead of just by blogging instead of journaling). I guess I'm missinterpreting again. Seems I'm good at that. In reality,... let's try and apply som...
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Change

In some ways, my life has been consistent for the past three years. A good job, Princess the guinea pig. Okay, so the other guinea pig died, I changed churches, but I'm still in the same apartment, and it is still a mess. I still see the same counselor, except not this week. So it is really a jumble of new and old. But the newest change is leaving my job. I can't tell you how sad it makes me. I stay up late at night, then am exhausted at my job the next day. I love the people I work with, and I have been doing this sort of work for nearly ten years. Also, I'm the one making this decision; no one is making me do it. Now that I finally have my teaching certification coming, I want a job that requires it, or to sub for a job that requires it, so that I gain experience to gain a "certificated" position. I guess I would rather be the cause of a change, even if it leaves me asking myself, "What am I doing? Why am I bringing this uncertain change on myself!?...
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OCD meddling in my education (again)

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What do you know, the insert picture function thingy is working today! Hence my photo not taking over more of the blog than it should. Today, if OCD were little g gods, I would have offended the gods. Actually, I did it last night. Thank you so much, professor, for giving OCD the opportunity to knock me to my knees. I'll have you know, however, that I am making some small show of resistance. Which I will explain. This is what I did. I did the communication screen with a little kid as per the instructions. Then, looking over it at home, I thought I missed something, so proceeded to correct something to say how the child actually pronounced it, not how I forgot and left it. And then the monster pounced. Because, being an hour or so removed from the situation, I no longer knew for absolute certain how the child said that word anymore. But I had just struck through the assumed mispronounced sound. So do I go all the way a...
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