Sunday, July 7, 2013

graduating

A couple months ago, my counselor was recommending that I try EMDR with a therapist trained in it. Now she is telling me I could cut down to counseling every other week.

Three years into the medication thing, and I think I've finally landed on the right combination. I finally called my psychiatrist last week to make sure it would be alright to stay on the higher SSRI dose instead of doing two weeks up and two weeks down, since I felt better on the higher dose. Of course, he was fine with that. And, once I got over the fact that I was raising the dose one more time, to over the "normal" prescription level (which isn't so strange for someone like me who has OCD, too), I'm good with it, too. Imagine! Not expecting to have my mood drop sometime this week because of lowering my dose again. Expecting... health.

Actually, when my therapist recommended cutting my counseling sessions in half, I started crying. It seemed like a big, scary change, even though I agreed with her that I was ready. She's been with me for three rough years of my life, cheering me on, supporting me, helping me learn new skills. And it isn't like she's just going to disappear because I switch to every other week appointments. Hey, I know that some people only get every other week appointments even when they feel really bad. I've been blessed.

But it does remind me that my therapist wont be there forever. And, as she said, I don't really NEED her to get along right now. I just really like knowing she's there. She told me she'd still be there if I needed to add in an appointment if things got rough. Basically, it is as easy a transition as I could imagine. Actually, it feels like it might be easier to completely move away (i.e. relocate far away so that I COULDN'T visit her every week). But I don't want to do that right now.

She ended up just telling me to think about it. And I thought about it. And here is the deal I'm making with myself. I'll drop down to every other week for the summer, but give myself full permission (i.e., somewhat planning on) going back to every week when the fall comes. That seems doable. But I will miss seeing her every week.

On another subject, I set up a sticker chart for myself! I read something about how rewards can help you make new habits, not to mention how they are used for kids (if they work for kids, why not for adults). So when I do chores, I get to put up another sticker. Oh, exercising counts as a chore. And when I fill the chart up, I get a reward. I don't know what yet, but I don't need to know; I'm sufficiently motivated by an unnamed reward and stickers! Actually, I added lots of stickers since this picture; I did lots of chores yesterday.