Sunday, July 7, 2013

graduating

A couple months ago, my counselor was recommending that I try EMDR with a therapist trained in it. Now she is telling me I could cut down to counseling every other week.

Three years into the medication thing, and I think I've finally landed on the right combination. I finally called my psychiatrist last week to make sure it would be alright to stay on the higher SSRI dose instead of doing two weeks up and two weeks down, since I felt better on the higher dose. Of course, he was fine with that. And, once I got over the fact that I was raising the dose one more time, to over the "normal" prescription level (which isn't so strange for someone like me who has OCD, too), I'm good with it, too. Imagine! Not expecting to have my mood drop sometime this week because of lowering my dose again. Expecting... health.

Actually, when my therapist recommended cutting my counseling sessions in half, I started crying. It seemed like a big, scary change, even though I agreed with her that I was ready. She's been with me for three rough years of my life, cheering me on, supporting me, helping me learn new skills. And it isn't like she's just going to disappear because I switch to every other week appointments. Hey, I know that some people only get every other week appointments even when they feel really bad. I've been blessed.

But it does remind me that my therapist wont be there forever. And, as she said, I don't really NEED her to get along right now. I just really like knowing she's there. She told me she'd still be there if I needed to add in an appointment if things got rough. Basically, it is as easy a transition as I could imagine. Actually, it feels like it might be easier to completely move away (i.e. relocate far away so that I COULDN'T visit her every week). But I don't want to do that right now.

She ended up just telling me to think about it. And I thought about it. And here is the deal I'm making with myself. I'll drop down to every other week for the summer, but give myself full permission (i.e., somewhat planning on) going back to every week when the fall comes. That seems doable. But I will miss seeing her every week.

On another subject, I set up a sticker chart for myself! I read something about how rewards can help you make new habits, not to mention how they are used for kids (if they work for kids, why not for adults). So when I do chores, I get to put up another sticker. Oh, exercising counts as a chore. And when I fill the chart up, I get a reward. I don't know what yet, but I don't need to know; I'm sufficiently motivated by an unnamed reward and stickers! Actually, I added lots of stickers since this picture; I did lots of chores yesterday.


5 comments:

  1. I love the stickers! I think that's a great idea. I need to do something like that to motivate me. Sigh.

    I understand the scariness of changing the counseling schedule. I've gone through the same thing. It's like we're going to lose an anchor that we really don't need all the time, but it's still scary. I think your plan of going the summer with every other week is a good one.

    Good to hear from you again. I've missed you!

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    1. Thanks, Tina! And thanks for letting me know you missed me! It's nice to be blogging again and to hear from you. Hopefully as I get used to my new schedule, I'll get it worked in more often.

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  2. Great idea with the stickers!

    This is a big step that you are taking right now with cutting down to every other week. I too have been blessed to be able to have the time, money and therapist who can fit me in every week. I tried every other week my first year and it was too stressful for me. Maybe one day, I too will graduate to every other week like you.

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    1. Thanks, Elizabeth. But it is okay if you keep going to your therapist every week. Each of our recovery follows it's own path and doesn't look the same.

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  3. Ending therapy was really scary for me. But we are stronger than we think. I'm glad you are doing well enough to be able to reduce your therapy schedule. And you can always increase it later if you need it!

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