unreasonably rational

I called my counselor today. I had an appointment scheduled for two weeks from today, but I finally decided it was worth calling her to see if I could get in next week. I briefly mentioned having a former student of mine pass away, and that it was throwing me off a little. Thankfully, she is able to get me in next Tuesday. See, in many ways, I'm just fine. I work, I... Okay, so work is the most normal thing in my life now. I enjoy my job still. I enjoy my kids. Etc. Of course, there is, um, challenges sometimes, too, when you work with toddlers. So I get that, too. Let me assure you that I get plenty frustrated some moments. Then there is the rest of my life. There is eating. There is upset stomach. Really? Couldn't you just settle down. My life is hard enough right now. And there is budgeting, which always seems to turn around and give me eating issues. I don't want to "waste" my money. So then I think, I have extra weight right now. I don't need to buy s...

A child I used to care for passed away. Surprise. Unexpected. I cried already. I've smiled at memories. I tried to forget while at work, and it worked by the end of the day, until my boss sweetly told me she'd pray for me. But it just seems so surreal. A non-compute. Because little kids aren't supposed to die. Going to bed is tough. I can plow through the rest of the day, but going to bed seems almost wrong somehow. Like it is carrying on as if all was normal when it isn't. Like I should be doing something for him or his family or something. I worked. The first hour or so felt really weird. A disconnect from the kids I work with that I am currently reminded could die at any time. Basically any person or animal could die at any time. And I expect death when people or animals get to old. Not that it doesn't still bother me. Actually, I feel a lot like I felt when my grandpa died. Including happening to have a cold or something on the side. But minus the guilt...

Well, I recently had the stomach flu. With a low grade fever and generally feeling rather miserable, though in a different way than mental illness. Thankfully, it didn't last long. But it reminded me of depression in how I just felt very yucky in a very concentrated way. So anyway, from that experience came my advice for people wanting to give spiritual advice to people struggling hard with depression and/or anxiety. Here it is, straight from where I shared it on Facebook (not so sure how good an idea it was to put it on Facebook, but maybe I'll find out): It is Mental Illness Awareness Week. So for today, let me share advice for advice-givers. If you want to give advice to someone really struggling with depression or anxiety, run it through the stomach flu test. If this is something you would like someone to tell you while you try not to puke, it is probably fine to share. On the other hand, if you wouldn't like being told to read your Bible more, pray more, and ...

Nothing like coupling recovering from the second stomach flu in a month with an overwhelming class assignment due in several hours to bring on depressed thinking. Remember that HALT acronym, Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. I don't know who invented it; it wasn't me. But I've got Hungry down since I'm low on food since my stomach is just starting to accept food again after rejecting it thoroughly on Thursday. Then add some Angry - an assignment I'm a bit mad at myself for not doing earlier. And then, if anger doesn't need to logical a reason, how about I just say I'm mad that I'm in school, mad that I feel stuck in school because I am unwilling to drop out (i.e., I choose to finish), mad that bachelor's degrees are seen as so important and that I went along with it enough to try and get one, mad that I don't know the information for the class better, basically mad at myself since I don't think it is fair to be mad at the instructor for this assign...