unreasonably rational

Last night, I looked around my home and thought, here it is, my sad preschool teacher (in my case toddler teacher) existence. And so I took pictures of it for you. I am not a cat lady. I only have a guinea pig. Instead, I'm a teacher of little kids. And I spend my money accordingly. Well, maybe I should spend it less, but I do spend it fairly consistently with what I care about. So this, my friend, is what a single lady toddler teacher's studio apartment might look like, down to the mess. I use most of my cleaning impulses up at work. Toys, toys everywhere and not a drop to drink, to misquote Samuel Taylor Coleridge. This (the cars, people, and animals) is most of the result of one of my larger thrift store purchases. You know my kiddos will be thrilled to play with the cars. At least the ones they consider cool, which should be most of them. But where shall I store them in my tiny apartment? Meanwhile, they are like a constant OCD trigger (I could call them an exposure, ...

Well, my friends, life has gotten better. Who knows if my migraines were scheduled to fade, or if cooking and eating ground beef for several days together, or if drinking water from a mold-free water bottle, or backing off chocolate, or answered prayer, or all or some of these resulted in the migraines leaving, but they have left. I still get the start of them, or something like them but not as strong, or a weaker version of them, but oh so much better. And remarkably enough, simultaneously, I have regained (for the most part) my ability to fall asleep pretty normally instead of having to listen to the radio to distract my mind from it's rat race etc. Thus, I have been sleeping more and eating better (until my ground beef sloppy joe mix ran out Thursday). And feeling much, much better. I tend to feel much better when I'm sleeping better, and if I feel worse and add not sleeping, that is just tough. And I've read enough transcripts this semester to change my writing st...

Recently, I've been getting these headaches that one doctor once called migraines. They have been usually hitting about an hour or two before I need to get up in the morning, waking me up. Then I take over-the-counter medication, eat something (in case hunger is part of the problem), and try to fall back asleep, which, thankfully, has been mostly working. The thing is, even with falling back to sleep, it is interrupting my sleep, leaving me extra tired. Being extra tired is like sending an invitation to the OCD and depression monsters. Not to mention plain old stress. The plain old stress in a particular situation had me breaking down at work. Just one day. And the people were nice about it. But it was a red flag warning that I need more rest. Then there is budgeting. Who likes budgeting? But the problem for me is that OCD/depression/cognitive distortions jump it. Thus, budgeting falls into the category of things that are a tad risky for me. More dangerous things include fastin...