unreasonably rational

Perhaps you've heard the acronym HALT - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. I would add Stressed and Sick to it. But currently, mine would be more like HLTS, hungry, lonely, tired, stressed. And annoyed, because I told my counselor when I saw her nearly two weeks ago that the way things are going, I should be depressed again in two weeks and fine in a month. I'm annoyed because it turns out I was right. But why? Hungry - my schedule got mixed up, working late on Wednesday and Thursday and then staying up late (like I'm doing right now) with the weekend, which is longer, so I am more messed up. Tired, for the same reasons, plus not being able to fall asleep last night when I wanted to at midnight (which probably explains my extreme hesitance towards going to bed tonight even though I really, really need sleep. Lonely. It is a long weekend. And I keep eying people's babies with a bit of jealously. I want my own baby. But I don't get that right now. I get my kids at work...

Well, I've got two things to say. The first is, despite how much psych meds seem to have helped me (after all, it is pretty hard to prove exactly what medication or therapy is responsible for what improvement), and despite my knowing others who have benefited from psych medication, and despite all I've read that supports psych medication, I still struggle when I come up against anti-medication proponents. Could I be this healthy without medication? Could I have white-knuckled it back to health? Should I have? Should I stand only on ERP, exposing myself to misery so that I can be happy? And not just on a few things but on everything OCD has ever thrown my way, with all the strength it had pre-medication? It is tiring even to think of it. And the answer? Who knows. I've chosen to include the medication route in my treatment. It isn't always easy. Then again, it can work great. But I am happy now, and that counts for something. It counts for a lot. People say, you wont...

Need I say more? Of course, I will say more anyway. :)  See that big building in the background? All dedicated to Early Childhood Education and Research? (Hear the undercurrent that hints of a future quest for a Master's degree? But not yet!)  One of my favorite pictures due to the beautiful mountains, but not quite my favorite due to the tassel still being on the un-graduated side.  My sister drove up and I drove down and we met in the middle far from either of our homes at the college I attended from a 10 or more hour drive away (online).  I just can't stick to traditional poses. And I'm pretty sure the sun was bright. After I had lost my tassel. I wasn't ready to wear my hat in this picture without my tassel. That was too sad. Speaking of the lost tassel, we walked way too long looking for it. I was not dressed for a long walk. And we didn't find it. But while we are still on the tassel subject, since that seems to be a main theme, and becaus...