Thursday, November 14, 2013

Insert OCD here. And add tiredness there. And who knows how understandable this post will be.

A blog friend wrote about cooking and OCD here.

And I started writing a comment, but decided my comment would be too long, long enough for a full post. So here goes.

My mom decided to make sure that all of her children knew how to cook. Actually, it is a remarkably positive-sounding goal. Reading it now, I wonder why I have sometimes resented it.

But I know why. OCD.

Say I was in charge of supper and I have to use ground beef. I got to go through cookbooks to pick something to cook. Say I picked shepherds pie, or, as we called it, Deep Dish Hamburger Pie. So there was browning the ground beef. Insert OCD here. Gotta take care of all the raw meet germs, and all the raw meet germ splatters on the stove, and debate whether or not the spatula that I used at the beginning of browning the meet got cooked enough as I stirred the meet, or if I needed to stop and wash it, introducing more raw meet germs into the sink...

Then there are the potatoes. One time, my sister and I didn't take off the eyes that were growing, so mom had us take them off after the potatoes were cooked, at the dinner table. No, maybe that was green on the potato, which apparently is poisonous. Well, again, that wasn't so unreasonable, except that I felt disgraced and determined not to ever have that happen to me again. Insert OCD here. After that, there was staring at the potatoes to see if there was any green on them, and trying to decide if the eyes had started growing enough to need removed or not... I found that so confusing that I usually just took them all out.

Okay, now this post is too tiring. Because it is after 10 at night, and I worked a full day, followed by a two hour training on SIDS prevention, which is still rather emotional for me after the toddler died of SUDC (the much rarer version for kids over 12 months old).

So a quick summary - what I probably should have just commented? OCD has gotten in the way of my cooking. So has a dislike of cooking (probably largely influenced by OCD). And now, I haven't cooked raw meat in my kitchen probably in over a year. And it will probably stay that way until I'm ready to cook raw meat again. Which probably wont happen soon. For one thing, I have dirty dishes from an unknown number of weeks ago sitting by my kitchen sink. I should probably wash those first. Not to mention the fact that trying to get rid of raw meat germs that are hiding on a cluttered counter could be difficult... just kidding. I did develop some skill in getting raw meat directly into the frying pan, skipping the counter all together. So that doesn't need to stop me.

Being tired, though, can stop me. Good evening.


  1. Abigail, I am the same way about cooking raw meat. I really don't like it and have avoided it for a while now. I worry about the same things as you: the germs on the counter, in the sink, on the stove, etc. I can't enjoy the process of cooking because I'm so caught up in the OCD worries. I've gotten better with the non-meat cooking. Maybe someday I'll cook some meat.

  2. I think you're right that tiredness can exacerbate just about anything.......hopefully some rest will help! Also, I don't have OCD and I don't handle raw meat either......