Saturday, July 31, 2010

I was sufficiently worried about the project due for my class, but then I got a perfect score! Even though I turned it in without it being perfect (as in, each paragraph was not perfectly filled out and balanced).

My turning it in without being perfect was aided by the fact that my car had stalled that morning and I'd gotten a ride to work. I had planned to get a ride to the library and walk home (because that day the project was due!), but instead I was allowed to finish it on a computer at work after I finished my shift. And I got a ride home. So I missed my walk for the day, but I got my assignment done.

The car has now taken up residence at a shop. Silly thing (the car). You'd think it could go on working a while longer, right? Never mind it's age, it's younger than me, and I'm still going!

The silly car leaves me missing counseling next week. Oh, so sad. I lamented the fact, and now I'm not as extremely sad. Unless I think too much, then I might get more sad again.

But counseling and driving to camp are the only things I'm missing, and I can drive to work etc. in another car. It's fun to talk to a two-year-old at work who noticed I was driving a different car.

Handwashing is tied to fear of harming others. I don't mind accepting the risk of germs for myself - well, I don't mind as much, at any rate. What I mind more is the thought of somebody else getting sick because I didn't wash my hands. It is interesting to think about how our actions MUST touch the lives of other people. If I wash my hands, if I don't wash my hands. If I go to this store or that store. It affects people, more or less. This interests and scares me. Think of the Bible story of Abraham and Isaac, when Abraham was told to sacrifice his son. He was to trust God in doing something that would have cost his son as well as him. Actually, it must have been quite the experience for both of them, the build up and then the other animal getting sacrificed instead. This story helped me once in "letting go" of a person who was special to me who had been removed by circumstances from my life (I could be bitter or let go, but the person was already gone). It's one thing to trust God with my life. It's another to trust Him with the people around me. Maybe that sounds silly to you, but that's how I tend to think right now.

2 comments:

  1. Doesn't sound silly one bit! It's a hard thing to feel like your actions could negatively impact others. It's one thing to feel like you are putting yourself at risk in treatment, but another to feel like you might be bringing other people into it with you. I have a suspicion, though, that those people you are afraid to indirectly harm through your washing habits are actually quite voluntarily putting themselves at risk by your standards...themselves and everyone else around them...not to provide reassurance or anything ;).

    Hope your car thing gets worked out!

    P.S. I was looking at the goat pictures on your other blog, and oh my, they are ADORABLE. I definitely have a weakness for cute baby animals :).

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  2. Fellow OCD Sufferer, thanks for the comment. My car is fixed. And your advice about people voluntarily exposing themselves to risk... yeah,a bit of a different perspective can help. Doesn't stop all anxiety, but I must get used to that.

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