prescription savings cards, a book at the library, and a show begun

Today, I get the pleasure of purchasing medications without insurance. So I was trying to find just the right prescription savings card. There are a million - or at least a handful - to choose from. And I didn't find one that I remember finding before. So I don't know which will be best. I'll print out two, bring another I got in the mail, and see if the pharmacist technician can help me.

The I Hardly Ever Wash My Hands book that has been reviewed several times recently in blogs I read (and I keep reading the reviews, too) has caught my interest. I decided I wanted to read it, but in a "nobel" gesture towards saving money (or rather, not going as deep into debt), I was able to request it through my library. And I can pick it up now! Unfortunately, it is not at the library I'm sitting in right now, so I'll have to go to the other library (still near where I live, though). And they borrowed it from a library outside of our immediate system. I'm so glad the libraries are so helpful in finding books! I'm excited to read it.

The musical has begun. I made it until the night before opening before I cried over criticism from the director. At that point I was very tired and running short on ability (not theatrical ability - well, maybe that, too - but emotional ability, or whatever the ability that gets you to keep trying is called). That was Wednesday night. Thursday, I got to see my counselor, and have a little cry that left me feeling better. It's hard, as I tried to express to her, when I'm just finally able to live without it being a tremendous effort to keep living each day, but then I'm part of a show and my best isn't good enough. Unfortunately (or fortunately), being locked in a psych. unit in a hospital lets me know that what I can handle has a limit. Anyway, I just had trouble with the criticism, even though there have also been affirming remarks and lots of good stuff happening, too.

My counselor said to treat the criticism like an OCD thought; challange it instead of just accepting it personally. Is the director even talking to me, or was she refering to other people? Good question. I assume it's my work that she isn't satisfied with - maybe others' too, but also mine. But really, how a scene looks is far from in my control.

Anyway, last night, we had our opening night. And it went okay. Well, at least I felt that my non-singing scene and my last singing scene went well. And I'm trying to not get bogged down criticizing my self for whatever I wish I did differently... but I'm not being too successful. Over all, though, I think we did all right or even well. And the director did not criticize us at all! Maybe she will tonight... or maybe not. Anyway, I'm glad to have the work week done and to have a little time to myself today!