Friday, August 10, 2012

prescription savings cards, a book at the library, and a show begun

Today, I get the pleasure of purchasing medications without insurance. So I was trying to find just the right prescription savings card. There are a million - or at least a handful - to choose from. And I didn't find one that I remember finding before. So I don't know which will be best. I'll print out two, bring another I got in the mail, and see if the pharmacist technician can help me.

The I Hardly Ever Wash My Hands book that has been reviewed several times recently in blogs I read (and I keep reading the reviews, too) has caught my interest. I decided I wanted to read it, but in a "nobel" gesture towards saving money (or rather, not going as deep into debt), I was able to request it through my library. And I can pick it up now! Unfortunately, it is not at the library I'm sitting in right now, so I'll have to go to the other library (still near where I live, though). And they borrowed it from a library outside of our immediate system. I'm so glad the libraries are so helpful in finding books! I'm excited to read it.

The musical has begun. I made it until the night before opening before I cried over criticism from the director. At that point I was very tired and running short on ability (not theatrical ability - well, maybe that, too - but emotional ability, or whatever the ability that gets you to keep trying is called). That was Wednesday night. Thursday, I got to see my counselor, and have a little cry that left me feeling better. It's hard, as I tried to express to her, when I'm just finally able to live without it being a tremendous effort to keep living each day, but then I'm part of a show and my best isn't good enough. Unfortunately (or fortunately), being locked in a psych. unit in a hospital lets me know that what I can handle has a limit. Anyway, I just had trouble with the criticism, even though there have also been affirming remarks and lots of good stuff happening, too.

My counselor said to treat the criticism like an OCD thought; challange it instead of just accepting it personally. Is the director even talking to me, or was she refering to other people? Good question. I assume it's my work that she isn't satisfied with - maybe others' too, but also mine. But really, how a scene looks is far from in my control.

Anyway, last night, we had our opening night. And it went okay. Well, at least I felt that my non-singing scene and my last singing scene went well. And I'm trying to not get bogged down criticizing my self for whatever I wish I did differently... but I'm not being too successful. Over all, though, I think we did all right or even well. And the director did not criticize us at all! Maybe she will tonight... or maybe not. Anyway, I'm glad to have the work week done and to have a little time to myself today!


  1. Theater folks can be harsh . . . I'm glad you got to see your therapist and process some of that struggle. I like what she said about re-directing the thought away from it being a criticism of you. In my experience, a lot of directors tend to throw fits and yell to get people's attention. If only they knew it cost them in respect! But I'm also glad you're enjoying the positive about the show, and I have a hunch it will just get better. :) Congrats!!!

  2. I like what your counselor said about deflecting the criticism, and your own observation that you can't control everything. Good job. I hope you enjoy the rest of the show!

    Re: the prescription cards. If the ones you have don't help much, consider asking at your local chamber of commerce to see if they have a prescription card. Ours has one (it's free) and I think it's part of a national program. A co-worker of mine doesn't have prescription coverage, and she has gotten a lot of savings from that card.

  3. Congrats on opening night! You are so brave to be in a musical! I think it would be fun but very hard.

    I am so sorry about the criticism but I like what your counselor said.

    Tina has a good suggestion, ask your chamber of commerce if they have a card. It is hard to sort through all the options out there.

  4. I think that it is so courageous of you to be in this musical. So proud of you. I also think you're counselor said something brilliant. Definitely, treat the criticism like an OCD thought. Love that! Hope the rest of your shows go really well.

    From one actor to another, break a leg!!

  5. "Your" counselor, not "you're" counselor. Honestly, since everything is now computerized with spell check, it's like I'm forgetting how to spell and use grammar!

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