Friday, October 29, 2010

self-fulfilling prophecies

I've thought of something else to worry about; self-fulfilling prophecies. I'm worried that my medication will affect me negatively. Maybe that is a self-fulfilling worry. I'm worried that I won't be able to work full time. What a great thought to self-fulfill (YES I'm being sarcastic.)

It seems like a most important skill is that of not overvaluing thoughts.

I recently realized (thank God) that I'd thought myself into a dark corner, but I'd done this before and gotten out again. That was enough to get me out of the dark corner. Dark corner type thoughts don't just disappear, though. The anxiety builds and another pops into my head, but it's just a dark corner thought, so for the moment I keep going with life. As in, so I might get really anxious, but the depression isn't winning.

Basically, most of life becomes a pseudolifeanddeath question. I'm asking a question of a college and "about to die" - I love OCD or whatever brings me these thoughts (not). Logically, how is asking a question of a college admissions person so dangerous? I don't know. I know I won't actually die. I'd like to take a class next semester, but am not sure how to pay for it. And I'm running late. Oh, well. I suspect I will delay classes until the summer.

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