Today, the frustration grew enough that I called the doctor, and the doctor said, No more monkeys jumping on the bed! Not. Not the monkey part that is. Medication dosage change and a few days to feel better without paying for another office visit. Aw, that's nice. And the nurse said, he said it would be appropriate for you to go home from work today. Grrrrr. I mean, so I was a little absentminded at work. And felt almost shakey. And in a place that I don't care to stay emotionally, but really, that's enough to go home from work? Ah, learning to rest. What a job. So I spent some time with friends. Which really helped. So now I'm hoping to work tomorrow and to be feeling better in a few days.
time
I'm using up time. On purpose. There was a time when I thought time was practically worth money. Now I spend money to get through the time. Because I'm not worried about the time or the money (false: I'm worried about too little money and too much time). My main goal is not to give in to the latest, greatest (more than a year old) depression thought. Sometimes I wish I could pull out the thought and put it on the floor and stomp on it, or something like that. Wish I could. But, as I told someone yesterday, this is my life [right now]. And, as I agreed with someone else, I'm hangin' in there. I don't like Halloween. Because my depression is particularly intrusive on this day. And because I'm scared of some costumed teenagers "trick"ing me. The darkness at "trickortreat" time doesn't help. Probably the fact that my family hid from the trickortreaters doesn't help either. We used to celebrate Reformation Day on this day, in honor...
I used to "work at relaxing"--it was very difficult for me. I'm glad you spent time with friends--that can be very renewing.
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