Saturday, November 20, 2010

impulsive

If I hadn't thought it out quite so carefully over so many days and talked to people about it as I decided... I would so want to site dying my hair as an example of impulsive behavior that was a side effect of one of my medications (pick whichever you want to get out of taking). I mean, I have never ever dyed my hair in my entire life until today. I know, I was really bold and daring - I dyed it medium brown and it was dark blond/light brown. Basically, it's about the color dry that it used to be wet.

I even did an OCD homework thought challenge about my assumption this morning that "dying my hair will ruin my life". I concluded that my evidence didn't cut it and I went ahead and dyed my hair like I wanted to. It might be a sin. I might be allergic to it (I have a sore throat) (and it started bothering my head before I rinsed it off). But I'm pretty sure it won't kill me. Unless it gives me cancer; then it might. But that wouldn't be right away, so I don't need to worry about it yet. Unless it gives me throat cancer. Okay, so that wouldn't be right away either. I should save my anxiety for more immediate issues.

Like the dinner I'm going to tonight. If I bring butter for my rolls, the butter might not be good anymore since I have had it for a while. I know that I lived through eating it last month, and I'd eat it again today if it was just me, but feeding it to other people is scarey. I will bring already opened salad dressing, so I will get an exposure in with or without the butter (not to mention the exposure to whatever immitation or real social anxiety I have). Hmm. I can almost immagine my counselor questioning me about this butter poisening I'm afraid of. Actually, it's margarine, so it might be good for 100 years. Spoilt margarine sounds less likely than spoiled tuna on my dish towel if I dried my tuna-water-y hands on it. Maybe I will bring margarine after all.

My other grand thought that my room-mate said I should put on my blog is this word of advice: If you have a choice between a one-syllable word and a three-syllable word, use the three-syllable word. This can slow your thinking down (at least if you sound out your thoughts like I usually do). I have been told the speed of my thoughts is part of my problem. So supposing I select elongated units of speech, this could possibly result in slower thinking. Or confusing myself, which is fine, too.

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