update
Now I have given my two weeks notice, so it doesn't have to be a secret. I'm changing jobs. Not fields, I'll still be an early childcare teacher. Well, maybe I'll get to be less of a lead teacher, but that is okay with me right now. And working in a classroom WITH another teacher sounds GREAT (even though it can double the number of kids in the class). So that was my big anxiety creator for my last blog post; I was going to give my two weeks notice when I went to work and I was worrying about accepting the job the evening before.
At my current job, the worse depression came back, not as strong as it has ever gotten, but stronger. I hate depression. But Saturday came and I felt better. Amazing what the weekend can do. Good thing I'm changing jobs. I hope it helps (but it could make things worse; I'll have to "take that risk" like my counselor keeps talking about).
I'm doing pretty good at not washing my hands this week! Not so good at writing down every handwashing, which was the actual assignment. :) And I've never kept track at work. Maybe that's avoidance, maybe it's recognizing that a toddler teacher can justify washing his/her hands pretty much any moment of the work day. Really, I don't wash my hands as much as I "should" (early childcare guidelines) but sometimes I throw in an OCD handwash (marked by greater germ worry). On the positive, I've eaten with "dirty" hands a number of times this week! So funny that I get to celebrate that fact. It is a little bothersome when I'm with someone who doesn't have OCD but does care about clean hands and germ caution. But usually it's just myself that I slightly annoy.
And don't be too impressed and for sure don't feel bad, because handwashing is not nearly my biggest OCD issue. It's one of my little issues that is easier to fight.
At my current job, the worse depression came back, not as strong as it has ever gotten, but stronger. I hate depression. But Saturday came and I felt better. Amazing what the weekend can do. Good thing I'm changing jobs. I hope it helps (but it could make things worse; I'll have to "take that risk" like my counselor keeps talking about).
I'm doing pretty good at not washing my hands this week! Not so good at writing down every handwashing, which was the actual assignment. :) And I've never kept track at work. Maybe that's avoidance, maybe it's recognizing that a toddler teacher can justify washing his/her hands pretty much any moment of the work day. Really, I don't wash my hands as much as I "should" (early childcare guidelines) but sometimes I throw in an OCD handwash (marked by greater germ worry). On the positive, I've eaten with "dirty" hands a number of times this week! So funny that I get to celebrate that fact. It is a little bothersome when I'm with someone who doesn't have OCD but does care about clean hands and germ caution. But usually it's just myself that I slightly annoy.
And don't be too impressed and for sure don't feel bad, because handwashing is not nearly my biggest OCD issue. It's one of my little issues that is easier to fight.
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