sympathetic looks...

Well, my research was enough to convince me to follow the Doctor's recommendations, so on to more medical bills trying to find out what's going on with the anemia. I get a day off work out of it (no pay, of course; one of the characteristics of my line of work in my part of the country).

Have you ever seen people's sympathetic/pittying looks when you talk to them about your mental illness or some time after that? I'm not too good at accepting that. Not that said people ever know, but I think (or even say), "hey, it's my life." I don't want too much pitty, nor too much of people feeling sorry for me; this is my life; I gotta deal with it, so pray for me, talk to me, but don't look at me like my world is falling apart. Because it isn't. Even if I tell you about my really depressing thoughts, my world actually still is not falling apart. And even if my world is falling apart, it's still my world; a falling-apart kind of world. And, I don't always want to think that my problems are as serious as people's expressions indicate that they are.

Having said that... I'm not above calling someone on the phone when I get that un-grounded, disconnected-with-the-world feeling. So I guess everything has it's place and time (well, most things).

And now that I've said that, I'm beginning to feel disconnected again. Maybe I should change the subject.

Hmmmm, what shall I say? Maybe I should just say something noble and expressive, like, Have a great weekend!

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