Friday, November 18, 2011

update

I just ate my whole post up by pressing the wrong button at the right time, or however you are supposed to put that. Two wrongs? One right and one wrong? One wrong and one right? Either way, bye-bye nice, thoughtful, disconnected, entertaining to me, etc., post. Now, can I write it in fewer words, and cut out the I'm-hungry-and-need-to-eat-soon comments? (I mean, cut them down, not out, since I just put one there.)

From both my counselor and my psychiatrist (whom I both saw yesterday), I was reminded that my anxious thoughts actually are emotionally taxing. I forget that sometimes. They are just my normal thoughts. Also, I know some of the thoughts are quite disconnected from reality, so since they aren't valid (as in, aren't realistic), I assume they don't cost me emotionally what they would if they were factual. And maybe they don't, but they still might scare me/ weigh on me more than I think they do.

The other big thing I came away with was that when my counselor talked about being happy with my current improvements, she didn't mean that I couldn't keep hoping for more improvement or for a better life. She didn't mean this was as good as it gets. And neither did Mr. Psychiatrist. We can all keep hoping and expecting the improvement to continue. I don't have to settle for this. And I'm not. This is great for now, and I'm so happy I'm not where I was a year ago, but I don't want this to be the end of the improvements. That would be discouraging. Anyway, I think I've made my point, maybe more than once.

The other thing I learned on the side was that it can be worthwhile to keep trying to explain myself when I don't think the other person is understanding me. I tend to just give up instead of continuing to try.

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