Today, I had planned to go to a church a little further away that had people I used to know. The hope was that this would help me to process some stuff that happened back then. But... I slept in. Rats! But I did. And then I was faced with being really late to this other church, pretty late to my own church, or visiting a third church. I chose to visit a different church. I was mentally prepared to go somewhere new, and I could get to this church pretty much on time while still getting my apartment clean to my satisfaction before I left so that when my landlord showed it to prospective renters this afternoon, it would be in good shape. This morning that meant cleaning the guinnea pig's cage to cut down on the rodent smell.
Anyway, I listened to pretty much the whole sermon. I had light conversations with strangers. And then I left. It was really pretty this morning outside. Now it is still pretty, but not as pretty.
I think maybe the medication is helping (how many times have I said this before?). I seem to be in a better mood. Maybe this will last. I hate this cycle, though. But oh, well, I'll enjoy the up side of it and hope the cycle doesn't reach another down side.
With my classes done for the spring semester, I have more time again. I am working on getting back into helpful habits like exercising, going to support groups, getting out with people, and doing things that I think are fun. I was doing better last December after finishing school. Maybe we should call this the Post-Semester-Mood-Elevation. As in, elevated from deeper depression to a healthier state. As long as it lasts... But even if it doesn't, I'm enjoying this time.
I was finding that my "5 Good Things" lists were turning into inverted To Do lists - in other words, I Did lists. Now I'm keeping some of that, but working on putting in more experiential things, like the warmth of the sun or the beauty of driving in the dark out in the country when you turn your high beam headlights on and it lights up the road and the nearby trees. I'm guessing this would qualify as a small nod in the direction of mindfulness, since I have to be able to think of these things.