Saturday, May 12, 2012

perky


I found an apartment. As long as nothing goes wrong with them accepting my application, it should work out! It's a studio apartment with a kitchenette that would fit in a closet – that practically is in a closet. The refridgerator will... not win any awards size-wise unless it is a contest on loosing weight. And I will have an excuse for not using the oven or stove – since there isn't one. That could be a little tricky. I'm looking into an electric skillet or something for those rare days when I actually decide to cook something outside of the microwave or bread toaster. I keep hoping that some day I will … eat more healthily? But I'm very not into cooking, so that is a complicated goal.

I've been in this perky mood lately, and it just keeps going. Maybe this is what it is like not to be depressed. I still have moments, but now it is moments of depressed thinking and hours of this strange, perky mood. It is almost scarey, even!

However, I have not yet started into my summer class (the one I can take a whole year on if I choose to). I think that the combination of no school (especially after an overwhelming semester) and maybe the medication and therapy and all is working out in my benefit. I hope it lasts when I start studying again.

I have even thought that I could potentially cut back to counseling every other week! I hoped for but at the same time couldn't imagine such a state, and now, I just might be in it. I have decided to wait a month or so before trying to cut down on any supports right now, though, including counseling. And the Seroquel that I wish I wasn't on? I think I'd better keep it for several months after reaching a steady, non-depressed state. And even then, I might still need to take it. I'm choosing to be okay with that.

Anyway, I'm almost scared to say how well I'm doing, because I know it might not last. I don't want people to conclude that I'm all better now and I won't need any help anymore. Of course, come to think of it, even “healthy” people need help. But anyway, I'm hoping this better mood lasts, but I wouldn't want to promise that it would. :)

2 comments:

  1. I'm glad you're doing well and have an apartment!

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  2. Abigail, I have the same thoughts, sometimes. Feeling better seems almost too good to be true, and I fear that if I talk about it too much, it will go away.

    Just enjoy it. I'm glad you're feeling perky, and I'm glad you found an apartment!

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