Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Complaining is probably a sin.

So is expressing annoyance a sin? Hmmm, probably can be and can not be.

Anyway, I thought the "Please prove that you are not a robot" thing to post comments on Google's blogspot blogs was funny - once or twice. Now it takes to long. And now you have to type two words. Does that mean that robots can now figure out the word if it is just one word? I'm doubting it, because if so, I don't see what is hard about adding a second word on.

Another thing I don't like is when people in online classes are really wordy in the messages/announcement part. To be specific, I don't really care about a "funny" "google doodle" thing right now. And I really don't want to hear about it in three separate identical messages. I open these messages to get back to having zero unread messages. Then there are - I mean is - a case of a, um, extra involved? distance learning professor. I take online classes, and I do it on purpose. The teacher has the priviledge of suggesting readings, making outlines available, and recording lectures. Chances are very good that I will listen and watch lectures. Outlines might be used for review or for cramming. Readings might be... well, I like to either read the text or hear the lecture. But then making announcements every day or so, with multiple messages some days, in great big lettering of non-black color, sometimes with all capitolized words, and with "humor" that sounds sarcastic and slightly offends me... Well, I'll try to look long enough to make sure it isn't something really important. But my depression sometimes goes off with the "humor." What makes it even more interesting is that he warned us of the dangers of using humor over the internet, as it can easily be interpreted wrong, then told us to soften our humor and get thicker skins. So sorry that my depression doesn't have a thicker skin, Dr. Professor, but I bet you'd be shocked if you knew how my thoughts responded to your humor one day. I bet it's so not at all what you intended.

Then there are interaction times cut short. (I said I'd try to make my comments more concise, but didn't mean that my blog postings would be. I reserve the right to be very long winded on my own blog.) Take today's sign language lab over the internet. Yay for webcams, frustration with slow computers (yes, I'm talking to you, Mr. Laptop. What were you thinking? I had to hold my signs in place for soooo long before you would deign to display my visual words). Today, we were let out "a little bit early." As in, almost twenty percent early. I might be okay with that once and awhile. But my depression was sure on it. Goodbye to language lab, hello to that really, really, really annoying voice of depression (my own voice, which I understand to not qualify as "hearing voices". A slight comfort).
Anyway, I'm back to the good old obsessive depression struggle. Which comes with a nice helping of guilt (surely, if I was a bit more perfect, I wouldn't struggle this much. I must be doing this to myself, or at least making it worse for myself). (As if the guilt will somehow render me less burdened and in better shape to care for myself?) I see both my therapist and my psychiatrist tomorrow, which is pretty good timing, I think.

And now? My grumpiness or complaininess seem to have taken a break, so I feel better... and plan on playing computer games, for fun, instead of focusing 100% on my homework.

2 comments:

  1. Abigail, I think we all need to vent every now and then, and this is a safe place to do it. I am with you on those "prove you're not a robot" things. Why did they suddenly become more difficult to read? It's like interpreting a language I never took lessons in.

    I am glad you see your therapist and doc tomorrow. Maybe they can offer some help with the depression that you've been experiencing.

    Take care! :-)

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  2. Ugh, I absolutely hated online classes. In most cases they were more work than an in-person class. They ended up giving you so much busy work - like we had to have these online discussions where we had to post stuff and then respond to at least 2 or 3 other postings throughout the week. Oh, and they just couldn't be random comments, oh no, we had to research our responses and cite them properly. It was like doing several mini-research papers every week. What a waste of time! I know you like online classes and I'm really glad they work for you and that they're available for you, but give me an in-person class any old time instead. OK, so now I've expressed my annoyance too! ha ha We can be annoyed together!

    Seriously though, good luck with your appointments. I really hope it goes well.

    Oh and I agree with that stupid robot thing. Tina's right - they have gotten harder to read. I even had to ask my husband tonight what one of the letters was!

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