Sunday, February 5, 2012

A Quiet Day

Sleep is so important to my mental health. But its another of those things that can be a symptom and a depression perpetuator at the same time. Twice last week I pulled the I-don't-feel-like-getting-up-and-eating-supper game, followed by dinner after 9 pm and a very late evening of reading a book. These aren't exactly helpful in getting a handle on the latest depression attack, but I'm trying to have a little mercy on myself at the same time, because the depression attack is probably what made it so hard not to pull one of these late nights.

Then last night, I babysat. Which I enjoy. But it went late. And then today, when I did leave the house, I got grumpy about something someone said. And had the nice, really indecisive-but-still-trying-to-shop experience after that. Then I wisely took a nap. Not so wisely, I didn't eat lunch first, just drank a breakfast chocolate milk thing. So, not surprisingly, I feel sick now. And I have plans for tomorrow that do not include being sick and laying around. What is wrong with me and when am I gonna get a handle on it? I'd think by now that I would know to accept that I have a chronic illness that isn't my fault that I really truly am doing my best to deal with, but it isn't all in my control. Someone recently was reminding me, it is an illness! You don't get over it by faith or will power anymore than you would get over heart disease or cancer.

Anyway, I'm gonna try doing some schoolwork now. Sometimes that helps my brain straighten out some.

1 comment:

  1. Hey, Abigail--I wish I had the answer to why we don't always do the things for ourselves that we know will help with our illnesses, like get on a regular sleep and eating schedule. We're human. We're not perfect. But we have to keep on trying. I figure I won't wake up one day and do it all perfectly, but I'll get better at it a little at a time. You will too!