My OCD decided to join me on the Miracle Balls last night. I talked about The Miracle Ball Method, by Elaine Petrone, a couple posts ago, but basically, it involves strategically lying on the balls in such a way as to help various muscles relax. Of course, there is some sort of, if it hurts, don't do it clause in the beginning. Through an OCD screen, it reads more like, "If it might hurt, even just one little muscle, you might be damaging your spine and/or body for life!" And then the completely unfounded note of caution that OCD added without any help from the author, "If you don't lay on the floor in a symmetrical way and place the balls exactly evenly, you might end up lopsided for life, and that lopsidedness might include spinal damage, and any injury to your spine is a bad thing, you already know that." Apparently OCD's high school teacher was unsuccessful in teaching it not to use run on sentences.
And having an OCD attack, if that is even a term, is not conducive to relaxing. It almost is a self-fulfilling prophecy in that it could potentially trigger tightening of muscles, and, well, OCD thinks if any muscles tighten, there might be injury involved.
So then I wanted to do the "right" stretch or relaxation exercise that would get my back lined up and/or relaxed right, which led to my trying a few different things. Finally, I decided that was more than enough and went to bed. But not to sleep, thanks to my heightened anxiety. Chocolate and solitaire, and eventually I settled down and slept.
So the question approaches, what will happen when I try to use the Miracle Balls again? Who knows. Maybe OCD will ruin it again. "Maybe yes, maybe no," (my counselor's tricky answer to give the tricky OCD monster). Maybe I will pull a muscle, become lopsided - make that more lopsided, since I already am naturally not quite symmetrical, or even do something terrible to my spine. "I guess I'll take that risk" (one of my favorite answers for the OCD monster).