Here I am, on what would have been a working afternoon, blogging (connecting with people) and trying to relax. Of course, along with having the afternoon free, there came a little second guessing. But over all, I'm still glad. Less than an hour ago, I had a stomach ache from stress and wondered why I was taking the afternoons off when I could work them. Sometimes my thoughts seem so silly. I'm taking the afternoons off so that I don't get too stressed and also in the hope that it will help me get more studying and better learning done for my classes. I'm taking the afternoons off for my mental health. It is okay. And I know that. And it is still scarey.
Change gets scary for me. I know, that's normal for humans. But I think OCD/anxiety makes it worse. Like changing from having a gym membership to taking tap dancing lessons. I've thought this out. I spent time making my decision. But I'm still a little afraid. I'm afraid of guilt. I'm afraid of doing the wrong thing. I'm afraid I'm making (now we are on the "have made" side) a bad decision. Oh well, "that's a risk we'll have to take." I mean, really, I had to decide one way or another, and either choice "might" be the "wrong" one.