Well, my spring semester has started. And I have embraced the anxiety of choosing to work in a group for the research paper instead of going it alone. This is more risky in that there is a possibility of failure that isn't fully in my control. You kind of have to trust the people in your group. But it could also be really good. So I might regret this decision, but I just might really like it. We'll see.
I did have Sunday lunch with my pastor and his family, and it was actually pleasant. More than pleasant, I suppose, since I was having a depressed day to that point, but while I was at their house, the really depressed thoughts gave me a break.
Over all, Friday through Monday was rough, but I'm doing better right now, in the middle of the week. This seems to be a pattern for me.
I got to see my counselor today. I found out she won't be there next week, which brought on the initial fear of going it alone, but was eventually replaced by hoping it will go well and relief not to have to pay for that week. :)
I almost asked her for reassurance that I was spending my money well, despite being in debt, but then I stopped myself. And then, I told her I stopped myself from trying to get reassurance. And then, she straight out gave the encouragement that I really wanted. She said she thinks that my guilt about "wasting money" is largely OCD. I guess she wants me to fight that guilt. So did she give me reassurance, or encouragement? I guess it doesn't matter. And I'm encouraged anyway, so if it was reassurance, it is at least working for more than 15 seconds. :)
I'm trying to get myself to not spend forever on the computer this evening, so I guess I'd better take off. Happy mid-week, everyone!