Sunday, January 2, 2011

sinusitis again

I did go to the doctor. Told him I felt like I had a sinus infection, but I wasn't sure what was from that and what was from depression. He said, I was right; my brain could be exaggerating symptoms. Then he said that based on his observation, I probably did have a sinus infection, so I'm back on antibiotics. That struck me as interesting, considering, if I didn't perceive my symptoms to be as bad as I did, I sure wouldn't have gone into the doctor. It was my desperate attempt at continuing to be able to get out of bed each morning. I sure hope this works.

It's been the sort of Sunday when I had the worst time just getting out of bed. Missed Sunday school and was late for church. But I did get out of bed! I was uninterested even in watching a movie at lunch time, but watched one anyway, and did enjoy it somewhat. This depression has to get better.

Tomorrow to the Psychiatrist. Tomorrow I get to try to put this hard-to-explain state of living into words that he'll understand. Try to figure out which of my symptoms are important to mention in the short time I have with him and which are unimportant. Try most of all to explain that I'm not much better than before medication, though I'm on two.

Alas, my patience runs short. I wish this was better by now.

But oh, well. Got to talk to people at church. One person who knows of my depression was nice despite that. I don't know what I expected. For him to pity or awkwardly ignore me? Who knows, maybe he does pity me, but he was more just friendly today, so that's fine. I don't want to be a strange freak of nature. I'm just me.

1 comment:

  1. I hope your depression gets better soon. I know that it's tough to get through that.