Wow! I made it 4ish days without writing a blog entry! (This "reassures" me that blogging isn't a compulsion that I'm stuck performing.)
Today, I saw my therapist again. It's been two weeks, and that was long for me. It was a good catch-up session, and she gave me the encouragement I really wanted. To keep going through this depression. And through the ocd. I feel like ocd is a part of my life, but I'm pretty grumpy about depression sticking with me like this.
And I applied to a college! For an online, Communication Disorders program. I've taken two of the classes as a non-degree-seeking student. But now I want to be able to use financial aid, so I have to be degree seeking. And from talking to a friend and my counselor,I'm learning that I don't need to know how long I will live to take classes and work towards a degree. Some days I may expect to live years. Some days, today and maybe tomorrow is all I want to think about. But I don't need to worry about that. Just need to always live the current day. The future can be overwhelming. But that will probably last as long as the depression, and my counselor said that maybe working towards a degree will help my depression lift. I sure hope so. In the mean time, I hope I get to take some fun class this fall like Phonics and Articulation, or whatever the next class is called. And I'll hope I don't have too many general studies classes to fulfill. I've got my AA, and I finished the pre-degree, off subject classes from another online college before I decided I didn't want that major from them (Special Ed, then Ed. Studies, then withdrew). And that online college was based in the same state as my prospective college.