I'm hungry. That's a good thing. A very good thing. Yesterday, after not eating for thirteen hours so they could get their blood sample from me to do tests I can't remember, I got kind of sick. The new, lightheaded thing. But I had a special variation last night; a buzzing sound/feeling would leap through my head, sometimes a few times in a row, and then leave. But it sometimes (but not always) threw my vision off a bit, too. A bit of a spinning world thing. And I could have that sensation while lying down; it wasn't limmited to when I stood up. But thank God, today the lightheaded, spinning headed, thing went away long enough for work. There was a moment when I determined that I should eat lest the lightheaded thing return. And now I shouldn't wait too long before my lunch or I might end up missing my class tonight... My boss spoke brilliantly to me today. She said that the longer I didn't hear from the doctor, the better the news was, because if it was really bad, they would call sooner. I two-thirds believe her. But even by that, I've got another day before I can determine a better or worse outcome. But really, my concerns are more focused on not getting spinning-head/lightheaded issues so that I can safely drive to my class tonight and counseling tomorrow. And for that, I should avoid worrying and not avoid food. (But what on earth will I do between working and eating and my class? Another movie? How many of those am I going to watch? What if they start getting too boring or too expensive? And so on and so forth. Have a good lunch/supper and may your head feel stable and fully supplied with oxygen.
Change
In some ways, my life has been consistent for the past three years. A good job, Princess the guinea pig. Okay, so the other guinea pig died, I changed churches, but I'm still in the same apartment, and it is still a mess. I still see the same counselor, except not this week. So it is really a jumble of new and old. But the newest change is leaving my job. I can't tell you how sad it makes me. I stay up late at night, then am exhausted at my job the next day. I love the people I work with, and I have been doing this sort of work for nearly ten years. Also, I'm the one making this decision; no one is making me do it. Now that I finally have my teaching certification coming, I want a job that requires it, or to sub for a job that requires it, so that I gain experience to gain a "certificated" position. I guess I would rather be the cause of a change, even if it leaves me asking myself, "What am I doing? Why am I bringing this uncertain change on myself!?...
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