Wednesday, April 27, 2011

I'm in another day-at-a-time stage. Each day, I make it through that day. Tomorrow I get to see my therapist again. Excited for that. Next week I get to see Mr. Psychiatrist again. Excited for that, also. I guess that kind of implies I'm not completely in the day-at-a-time stage.

My thoughts wonder what's really going on in my brain. Do I think thoughts because I am depressed, or should I be controlling those thoughts, in which case, I hopefully wouldn't be depressed. Because Psychiatrist the first told me my thoughts were a bad habit, not merely a symptom of depression. (See, I can leave a Psychiatrist and/or a therapist, but that doesn't mean I forget what they said.) Let's worry about this for a good long while (just kidding). Okay, so what else should I think about?

How I'm not doing so well in my 3 credit class? How I'm a bit worried about that? How I'm not working tomorrow morning, so I'm afraid my depression will grow even more. How...

Let's thing. What other options are there? I could look up something for the 3 credit class (am doing that right now). I could do the most fun part of one of my assignments for the same 3 credit class (waiting about half an hour for that). Read a non-OCD blog (imagine that! what an idea). (Don't worry, I already checked OCD blogs.) Listen to music on the radio while I drive home. Clean my guinnea pig's cage. No, I don't want to do that, but maybe I should. Research side effects for a medication that is not for my brain that I don't like and stopped taking yesterday (nasal spray for my non-allergies). Yes, I remember that research can be dangerous for someone with ocd, but it's fine for my depression, as long as I research the right thing. Okay, read up on most of my medications' side effects. Not particularly disturbed. Now for going on with today's tasks...

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