Monday, November 5, 2012

Election Day coming ... make that Scrupulosity OCD Has a Heyday Day.

Tomorrow, I get an unwanted exposure. I'm busy with my planned exposures, thank you. But no, election day comes regardless of my feelings. And really, I'm not against voting. I think it is a privilege. But OCD has been known to mess with people's privileges. Driving without undue anxiety? Privilege? Yes. Mine? Um, sometimes. Voting is similar. Too much responsibility, even while I know that my one vote won't necessarily (or even likely) be a deciding vote on anybody's election. In fact, in a past election that my OCD messed with, I was relieved when I learned that my vote that OCD was bugging me about had NOT been a deciding factor.

But here I am "researching" my choices for tomorrow. I won't call it OCD researching, well, not most of it, since it is preferable for people to have some idea of who they are voting for instead of playing eeny meeny miney moe in the voting booth. But I will call it amusing. And here we present, candidate so-and-so, whose party my family typically favors over the opponent's party. But get this; she is a car salesperson. And she was in favor of one bit of wordy legislation that I'm pretty sure I'm opposed to, but on two other issues, she sides with me against the opponent. So what is that? Two strikes against both people running. Will I be flipping a coin after all?

Add in the religious scrupulosity. Some issues could be seen as religious issues. Well, at least one of them gets plenty of air time in churches. And I agree with the "churchy" view, at least some variation of it. But what do you do when it is two strikes against both candidates? Do I vote for the person that "feels" right? But what if what "feels" right today feels wrong on Wednesday? Should I take the "coward"s way out and not vote (in which case, please don't mention it to my family; they'd have no choice but to accept my choice, but still)? Should I give OCD an easy victory and avoid voting at all? Oh, wait, OCD might prefer torturing me, in which case voting might be better, because then it can second guess me for the next four years. Then again, if I DONT vote, I think the OCD will still torture me, along with my fake and perhaps my real conscience. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. Thank you, OCD. Guess I'd better keep up my research. And bring a penny to the voting booth?

Well, I'm pretty positive that I should start my church-related exposures before Wednesday, or at least before next Sunday. Otherwise next Sunday promises to be hard. Now that I have "accepted" the risk of going to hell, I can tackle the "risk" of killing a church by playing guitar up front. Yuck. New meaning to magical guitar strings?

6 comments:

  1. Abigail, I'm sorry the elections are giving you a hard time - I know I'll be glad when it's over, but will remember to celebrate for you. Very much hoping you can just vote and that your mind will move on.

    I love that you're sharing your exposures; it's really encouraging, and I think you do a great job being transparent, showing the pain and your triumphs.

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement.

      Regarding elections, I did get some exposure time in before I moved on, but I was able to move on fairly quickly.

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  2. Election day is indeed a biggie. LIke you, I feel SO MUCH responsibility. It stresses me out. I'm never sure if I'm making the "right" choice.

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    1. I hope you are releived now that it is over. I had the comfort of the ones I was most worried about, the vote went the other way, so I got reassurance that if I made the wrong choice, it didn't matter (today, after the fact). :)

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  3. I worry about whether or not I pressed the right box on the electronic ballot.

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    1. We still have the fill-in-the-dot paper ballots, but I did check to make sure I had "answered" all the "questions" on the "test" that I planned to. Sounds like adding electronics just adds another opportunity for OCD. :(

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