Monday, December 13, 2010

This is what I found today in my search for info on anxiety disorders and Christianity. I'm sure there's more, but it's enough for today. I don't personally quite accept that having an anxiety disorder is in itself a sin, but have been confused about it. This article seemed decent, though too short (or shall I just remind myself that reassurance rarely shuts up the voice of OCD?).

Today I went to the Dr. for another ear infection. I'm usually relieved that I actually have something identifiably wrong when I go to the doctor, because I don't like paying money to be told I have a cold. So I was satisfied with today's visit - not a complete waste of money, and maybe I'll feel better soon.

And when I realize that I am legitimately physically sick not in the depression/anxiety sense, then I feel relieved that part of how I'm feeling should go away in a few days.

Being sufficiently negative, I told the receptionist at the Dr's office that I expected to be healthy in June. My doctor countered that he had higher hopes as in a few days instead of several months. I think I'll try to believe these so that I don't make a self-fullfilling sick-until-June prophecy. Because that wouldn't be pleasant, and if I have to be sick, I don't want it to be my fault (thank you, OCD).

Anyway, think three times before working with little children. It's a great job, but I'm so good at catching colds! (Add in unidentified allergies, depression, and anxiety, and who's really so surprized that I got a second ear infection within a month's time?) Actually, I love the little kids, and the Dr. told me he thought I did better depression/anxiety-wise when I worked more, so I'll return to work tomorrow! (I considered returning for an hour this afternoon after the dr visit - I worked this morning -, but instead I went and got one of my depression medications from the place that the patient-assistance prescription was sent to. Showing up to inquire helps with the speed amazingly. Phone calls and silence didn't work so well. And I know, it wasn't so-and-so's fault; the hold-up was somewhere else.)

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