Sunday, May 29, 2011

the problem with light purple nail polish

The problem with light purple nail polish is that it makes your fingernails look like easter candy.

This morning was bad. Then it got a bit better at church, and even more better. As in, I engaged in talking with people and forgot to think my disturbing thoughts. Now, they have at least been interrupted. Hopefully they'll stay that way. Another valley, but hey, I've made it through others. That's what my friend reminded me. I said, It'll get better, more to sound cheerful than because I was deeply convinced. And she said, "Yes, it will. It always does. For you."

Rats, now I feel like an over-reacting ______ insert word here, only therapy and friends would say it should be a positive word. So I'll leave it blank. My bad mood hasn't all the way left. I know I'm going to miss counseling this week, because my therapist already canceled it. There was a possibility of another time, but I'd have to take work off for it, so I said no. Now I wish I hadn't. I want to see her! And vent? Have another unfocused session?

Oh, wait. I'm supposed to keep my thoughts from going too deep into depression. This probably isn't helping me.

Sometimes I just get tired out and frustrated. Want a pause button. Movies can sometimes help - but I've done great at picking disturbing ones while trying to pick happy ones. Two days ago, a main character died. One day ago, the main character half sold his soul to an evil man/_____. Really? Cheerful? Well, at least that one ended with him being free of the evil man.

Today, I get to watch a play.

Tomorrow? Oh, dear. A whole day. No plans. Maybe I'll go to a movie. Maybe I can sleep all morning. I can exercise.

But wait, stick with now. Right now, I'm okay.

And in heaven, I want to paint my finger nails when my hands are not quivering from medication/anxiety! So there.

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