Monday, May 23, 2011

Truely, truely, it was an accident. I didn't intend to take my Seroquel twice last night. And the result? A little extra tired, a little extra offbalance, a little extra irritated? Nothing huge. I hope it stays that way. I didn't want to double my dosage. But I will use it as a reason to take a nap this afternoon. Seroquel is my problem medication right now. I forget it or overdose about once a week. Alas, my chart on the refridgerator isn't working well enough; I may have to fill one of those pill organizers, putting each day's medication in the corresponding box. Grr. I don't like to do that. Why? Because it's too much work, because maybe the medications will chemically combine when left together that long (yes, I know that isn't too likely), and because I have this mistaken belief that I should be able to remember which medications I have taken and which I still need to take! Maybe one of the medications is messing my memory up (blame it on something besides myself).

So, I'm not very good at talking with people that I don't know. In fact, I'm somewhat bad at it, particularly if I am already anxious. This definately affects my performance in my job. I'm fine at talking to the one-year-olds, but not so good at talking with parents. But I need to. I need to. If I say that enough times, will I do it?


  1. Oh my, talking with other people! Yesterday I sat at a concert next to a friend of my parents. I sat silently for 10 minutes trying to think of a question to ask. Never did come up with one that I liked.

    I recently read a book intended for parents of people with Asperger's (which I don't *think* I have), where they talk about thinking of questions ahead of time when heading into social situations, practicing small talk, etc. I'm going to try it. I figure it can't hurt, although I don't know if practicing on a cat will help.

  2. I have wondered if trouble talking to people might be a symptom of OCD. I have the same type of problem. I actually used to have such trouble with it that I memorized lines so that I could respond promptly and somewhat intelligently to commonly used greetings and phrases. I'm getting better, but a lot of times, once I've gone through my lines, I find myself sitting there racking my brain trying to think of what to say next.
    So glad I'm not the only one who does that!

  3. Ann, I talk to my guinnea pig. He's as good as a journal. But that might not help me talk to adult people. I think practicing is a good idea... if I do it. This particular issue was resolved today, so I can stop worrying for the moment.
    Sam, if I wanted to trace my trouble talking to ocd, it would probably relate to scrupulosity (I'm scared of telling a lie) and/or just an overactive brain. Or a tired out, forgetful brain. Or a brain afraid of making a mistake. Perfectionist. OCD. You might be right.I understand the not knowing what to say, but I think for me it starts earlier with the fear of engaging in conversation? when I run out of things to say, well, silence isn't THAT bad, is it? And they can always come up with something to say if they don't like silence.